whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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