She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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