Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
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I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
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i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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