Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Randomize