real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize