She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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