Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He passed out mid-signature
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize