so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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