i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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