Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
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i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
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I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize