Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
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I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
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KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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