Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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