My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize