she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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