ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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