sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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