I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
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Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
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He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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