One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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