I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
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One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
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We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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