There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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