I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
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I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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