Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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