If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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