her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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