just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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