don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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