dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
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If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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