How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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