omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
even my farts smell like vagina
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize