He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize