I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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