i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize