eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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