Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize