Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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