my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
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on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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