So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize