If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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