I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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