i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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