pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
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