the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
In America we eat man semen.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize