I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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