i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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