Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
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