I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
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