Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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