I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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