thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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