i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Dicks are not precious.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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