Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize