She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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