Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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